The joy of missing out
Do you experience JOMO or FOMO?
It made me laugh the other day when a friend told me that ‘JOMO’ - the joy of missing out - is now being banded about instead of ‘FOMO’ - the fear of missing out. It feels fitting for the start of the year, when it’s cold, dark and staying in feels much more appealing than going out.
I’ve always loved socialising but I crave quiet and alone time too - and I’m more than happy to spend evenings in. Of course a looming book deadline made that a necessity in 2024 but ever since becoming a parent, the days can be so intense that winding down for an early night can feel quite appealing - especially when I know I’ll be woken early.
It was therefore reassuring to learn that research suggests there are some potential benefits to being alone. These range from improving our creativity, mental health, and even leadership skills.
Of course, socialising is important in my life too, friendships are vital for our health – and feeling lonely can have a negative impact. But loneliness and solitude aren’t the same thing, being being alone doesn’t necessarily cause loneliness.
In fact, since ancient times, people have been aware of the link between solitude and mental focus, which has often been linked to enlightenment.
What I loved most about research in this area is that doing “nothing” has been shown to activate the brain’s default mode network – an area important for consolidating memory, self-reflection, and thinking about the future.
Research suggests that alone time benefits our creativity and well-being too. Studies have shown that individuals who are creative often prefer to be alone, as time with our thoughts helps spark new ideas, away from distraction, which certainly resonates.
I explore all this and more in the video below.
Breadwinners is out THIS YEAR in August 2025 - stay tuned for the pre-order link.
The Motherhood Complex is available from most book stores. Read it? I would love to know what you think, or even better, leave me an Amazon review (you can do this regardless of where it was bought) - this really helps first time authors like me.
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