The way we define gender from birth
Last night I was reading a book to my 4yo where the tiny (male) kitten doesn't want to be dressed up in a pink ribbon because he is “fearless” and “brave”. This is an extremely subtle example but one that, yet again, diminishes something we associate with femininity and emphasises what is often thought of as a masculine trait. I am often disappointed at the number of kids books that have majority male characters (look again at Dear Zoo, for instance). How are we still not getting how damaging this is? It’s especially frustrating because the books we read, the toys we give to children and how we describe their traits, have lasting effects.
I just covered this very topic in a long read for BBC Future, which is why coming across that particular book was especially frustrating, when I otherwise may have glossed over these descriptions. I changed the character’s name to a female one as I read it, do any others of you do this? I shouldn’t have to but many more characters in kids books are male - and male characters take more of the leading roles. This is damaging for us all, however we identify.
These type of imbalances are everywhere though, in clothes, toys and even the traits we use to describe little boys and little girls. As my article explains:
These initial divisions may seem innocent, but over time our gendered worlds have lasting effects on how children grow up to understand themselves and the choices they make – as well as how to behave in the society they inhabit. Later, gendered ideas continue to influence and perpetuate a society which unknowingly promotes values linked to toxic masculinity, which is bad news for all of us, however we identify. So how exactly does our obsession with gender have such a lasting impact on our world?
Read the full piece here: The gender biases that shape our brains
One last note - I’m delighted and slightly terrified that it’s *finally* publication week for my book - it is out this week (Thursday 27th May).
Not interested? Ignore. If interested: It explores how and why the shift to motherhood feels so stark - I wanted to understand why it feels so challenging to combine our old selves with our new motherhood identity – and how one easily overtakes the other whether we intend it to or not. With evidence from the scientific literature I hope the book will validate and justify the things we are feeling.
Pre-orders really make a difference for first time authors like me. The Motherhood Complex is available on Hive, Waterstones, Foyles or Amazon and all other stores. It’s also available on e-book and audiobook.
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