A two minute guide to: How your family shapes your body image
Comments about our looks from our loved ones and friends can cause lifelong insecurities. How can we teach kids to feel confident about their bodies instead?
I’ve written about body image in depth in text form, but as an experiment, I turned the topic into a concise two minute film, recently published on BBC.com - with excellent editing from my colleague Tom:
Watch here: How your family shapes your body image.
Research on how to talk to kids about food is what I call to mind most often, as every day I’m subject to requests for unhealthy snacks. It’s tempting to respond back and say that unhealthy food is bad for you, but then I remember the expert who told me that it’s better to frame treats as sometimes food versus everyday food, lest something that is ‘bad’ becomes more alluring. We don’t want kids to think badly about themselves each time they eat chocolate, but similarly knowing it’s a treat will make them savour it and, hopefully, learn not to expect it every day. I’m not saying it always works, last night we had ice cream because it was Robert Burns night, and they of course asked for more.
Similarly I now never relate food to weight. Instead I focus more about about how being active is good for the body, brain and heart. Associating food with weight can lead to a complicated emotional relationship with eating. We all need to eat, and if each time we do so it makes us think about the health contents of what we are eating, it impacts on how satiated we feel. Anyhow I promised a brief post, so won’t add any more background for now.
For those who prefer to skim in text rather than watch a video I’ve pasted the script of the film below.
It’s a sad fact that many children and adolescents dislike how their bodies look.
Off-hand comments or observations from friends or family may not seem impactful, but their cumulative effect can be surprisingly potent.
Whether it’s compliments or criticism, attention to our body shape and size can lay down beliefs and insecurities that are hard to shake off.
Derogatory comments or family attitudes about weight are often linked to mental health problems and eating disorders later in life.
Awareness of our bodies starts early - even three year olds believe the idea that: “thin is good”. As a result, a desire for being thin can start in girls as young as six, often influenced by their own mothers’ body dissatisfaction.
We are saturated with images of perfection, so how do we help prevent this type of negative attitude start in the first place?
Be aware of what you say around children about others - derogatory comments are noticed and internalised. Teasing by family members has been found to be a strong predictor of eating disorders and mental ill health later in life.
Minimise commenting on what a child wears or how they look. The evidence shows the way adults talk about bodies around children matters. Try to place more value on what children can do. This helps them get a sense of satisfaction and self-worth that's not tied to their appearance.
Avoid talking too much about what’s unhealthy. The more we focus on certain foods as being 'bad', the more guilt children are likely to feel. Instead, families can normalise healthy eating. And talk about exercise as being important for health and wellbeing, rather than a way to lose weight.
Monitor what children see on social media. Images of perfection don’t reflect reality. Teach that lesson early on, and teach it again.
And lastly, nurture your family. Positive relationships play an important role: one study showed that a good relationship between mothers and their adolescent children can reduce the negative effects of social media use on body dissatisfaction.
Taken together these steps will play an important role on getting young people to develop a positive body image.
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